Life Complaint. May edition.

I will admit while I have a job that I do not particularly enjoy, a job is a job is a job is a job. It’s something that pays the bills and buys the necessities in life.

I often find myself bored. I’m not productive. I can go clean the house, but I do not because I’m not in the mood or I’m simply just lazy. Buying material goods does not make me happy. I’ve found no joy in any new clothing I buy or whatever and I don’t know what I want anymore. Material possessions do not fascinate me. I think often, the more I buy the less space I have, the more junk I accumulate and then there is more rubbish that clutter and pollutes the world.   I often find myself thinking, reflecting, why I am not in the mood to watch netflix, normal television, watch or participate in sport. I feel no passion. I feel bored. I can’t even be bothered reading.

What is wrong with me?



Is it deliberate?

Some staffers might have good intentions or for others they have their own strategic and devious intentions.

I only ask that because at first, I thought it was an crying attempt to get Donald Trump’s attention but now I feel like this is all strategic and they wanted to make a grand ol’ statement.

Surely, someone would have corrected Sean Spicer about his mispronunciation of Malcolm Turnbull’s name, it’s not ‘Trumble’ or ‘Trunbull’ and his name is not hard to pronounce. He would be forgiven the first time, but the next day? C’mon. Do you want to be taken seriously? Or is this deliberate?

So, don’t get me wrong. I don’t like Malcolm Turnbull but Opposition Leader Bill Shorten expressed what I thought.

“This may surprise you but whilst I’m not a fan of the way Mr Turnbull’s been handling matters, on this one I think I’ve got some sympathy for him because, quite bluntly, I don’t think you can run an Australian American alliance by Twitter.”

Malcolm Turnbull pretty much confirmed the reports of the Washington Post, he didn’t deny it, he just didn’t add commentary to escalate the matter and did the diplomatic thing of trying to defuse the situation. Donald Trump didn’t, he instead tweeted and inflamed the situation by continuing that he didn’t like the deal.

As for him praising Malcolm Turnbull…

If you are going to praise our PM for being tight lipped about the conversation, I think you should show him the same courtesy by not tweeting and actually picking up the phone and apologize for your idiotic, petulant behaviour.

Read this opinion piece published on Washington Post by Richard Glover, regarding why Australians are a little offended by this ordeal, I say this because Donald Trump said not ‘to worry’ about ‘tough phone calls’ and that they were being taken advantage of. The opinion piece underlines why that is not true.


This is so demoralising

I was so tired my last post, and yay…not, I have been afflicted with gastro. While, I should be napping, I am just feeling unsettled about what has been happening so far.

As you have heard, the phone call between Donald Trump and Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull was leaked to the american press. Whilst, Mr Turnbull said that everything was A OK with the agreement, Australians were left like a stunned pigeon when news broke out about this leak.

I do not like my Prime Minister, in fact he, or rather the Liberal Party has done a terrible job governing the country, particularly in regards to the current issue of the debt welfare scandal. But I’m not going to talk about that now. I’m going to talk about what has transpired in the past 48 hours.

Australia IS AWFUL when it comes to the humanitarian issues. Australia and Trump’s USA are quite similar, I’d say Australia are ahead in that regard. WE have offshore detention where the people held there are driven to insanity.

Our government tried a similar amendment proposal of bans for asylum seekers/ refugees —correction, life time bans for those who arrived by boats. This includes that if the asylum seekers/refugees  eventually settled elsewhere,  they cannot enter, in the future for a business trip or as a tourist  . That is how cruel my country is.

Anyway, whoever leaked the conversation, good. In humiliating Malcolm Turnbull the talk on this issue has become news and now we can discuss the solution and resolve the stupid phone call..

The solution for this US-AUS refugee agreement is quite simple. Instead of adding woe to the minds of these human beings  stuck on Manus and Nauru. Settle THESE LIVING, BREATHING, THINKING HUMAN BEINGS IN AUSTRALIA.That’s all the Turnbull Government has to do. SIMPLE.


My problem with the phone call.

While Trump is right that it’s a “dumb deal” he doesn’t get away with it either.

Australia has been a staunch ally for 4 decades. Not saying that previous Australian governments had no heated phone calls, but this was stunning.

When news first broke out, I didn’t know how to process what I was reading.

That led onto me feeling confused.

That confusion turned into outrage.

Quit trying to make it all about yourself, there are lives on the line.

He had spoken about the phone calls earlier, and I was quite offended.

He mentioned along the lines that allies have been taking advantage of their relationship with the US. I had to scoff at that. WHEN HAS AUSTRALIA TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF US RELATIONS?

I, for one, along with many other Australian disagree. In every war the US has been in, Australia has fought along side them, even when the Australian people did not want to be involved in the Iraq war.

I just want to note that, while my government is being a horrible nation and picking who/which refugees can enter the country, for some odd reason, the government who are so anti-boat people/asylum seeker/refugee agreed to help the US resettle Central American refugees last year in September.  I don’t know whether that is still standing but from just recalling this, it makes me think this deal struck between Obama-Turnbull was probably one of those ‘You scratch my back, I scratch yours’ type.

Whether or not you like this, this is a matter of securing a tighter alliance, it’s what allies do, co-operate and Donald Trump just put a dent in it.

As I said before, I don’t like Malcolm Turnbull and his administration but the fact that there are reports of Donald Trump bragging about his Electoral College win, that this deal will ruin him politically is completely inappropriate. There are  lives on the line, it’s not all about him. He’s making it all about himself.

To end a call abruptly when Turnbull was trying to steer the conversation to discuss other serious global and military issues, that action alone by Donald Trump–wanting to cut the call short because Turnbull disagreed with him and making him lose his cool is/are demoralising for the entire world.




My reflections on the past few days

These past couple of days have been intense.

Last Friday, a horrible thing happened in my beloved city of Melbourne, I posted briefly about it a few days ago and now I feel ready to give my full thoughts on this.

A sick man, who was suffering a drug-induced psychosis decided to recklessly endanger the people of Melbourne because he was angry that he was being followed by the police.

In the earlier hours of Friday morning, it started when he was refused entry into a bar in St Kilda, he also stole his neighbours car after beating him up, he stabbed his younger brother and threatened the life of his mother and his pregnant girlfriend. He took his pregnant girlfriend hostage, who was trapped in the car for almost four hours until police surrounded them, she quickly ran for her life at the Bolte Bridge, then the city thing happened.  You can read the timeline The Age published.

Things like this never occur in my city. It sent shockwaves, people paused as news travelled throughout the State of Victoria and I guess, the nation. It was bizarre because  it occured in broad daylight,  in front of thousands of people during the lunch peak and in the heart of the city. He did burnouts  stopped people in their tracks and attention, it was him against the world. Ranting and raving. Scaring the beejezus out of everyone and then he went on his rampage.

I had loved ones working in the city that day and two of them both work near or on Bourke St. My niece and nephew could have lost a mother had my sister decided/gone to eat out that day, she did not. My brother-in-law could have lost his mother, but fortunately she was not on break. Those two children, the 10 year old girl and that infant boy could have easily been my niece and nephew.

A vigil was held  earlier in the evening at 5:30 at Federation Square. I just made it in time to listen to the speeches until its end. It was a hot sweltering day and I withstood the heat because I wanted to pay my respects for the injured and the dead. Just because I wasn’t there on the day, it happened so close to home, I felt the need to visit the sites.

After the vigil, I quickly made my way to GPO, to pay my respects there and was instantly moved by the silent, sombre crowd. I too, had decided to buy flowers and placed a origami crane amongst the flowers. This was the first time I’ve done this because it was necessary. With everything else going on in the world, from the passionate Women’s March against Trump happening all over the globe on the weekend, the depressing realisation that Trump is officially the President of the United States . I finally felt the need to do something.  I am sad, worried and weary for the world and I am deeply sad for what has happened in Melbourne.

Henry Dow, a Law student, who was on scene when it happened instinctively aided the injured with the help of taxi driver, Lou.

Their was no evil on Bourke street yesterday; one sick young man did a terrible thing, and hundreds responded with the love and sense of community that makes Melbourne such a beautiful city, and Victoria such a great State.

And that is true, we expressed our dismay, anger and disappointment but our thoughts were with the victims and they needed our love and support (Please read this moving Facebook Status of his)

As our Lord Mayor Robert Doyle said:

Melbourne is our home. When it happens to one of us, it happens to all of us

It hurt us profoundly.

Please let it be known that this man who committed these acts was in a drug-induced psychosis. This was not a planned terror attack in the name of religion and don’t use this as an excuse to attack a certain religion. This was a spur of the moment reckless decision of a person who  was high on crystal meth, trying to escape from VICPOL. Please don’t think I am dismissing his actions, I am not. What he did was horrible and he IS clearly a danger to society. When the time comes and he feels genuine remorse and realises the errors of his ways, that is a great burden and punishment already, he has alienated himself from friends and family, he will be forever known as the guy that killed 5 people, 2 of which were children and injured over 25 people. If he does not feel remorse, he deserves to be incarcerated until he dies, my sympathy is limited there.

I hope that the State of Victoria review and amend the laws regarding crime and punishment and fund mental health services because this could have easily been prevented.

My thoughts and prayers go to the deceased and injured victims and their families.

Rest in Peace:

Baby Zachary

Thalia Hakin

Matthew Si

Jess Mudie

Unnamed Japanese Man


Until next time.



I’ll keep it brief: What happened yesterday

Bloggers note: I meant for this post to be more lengthy but it’s currently 33 degrees in Melbourne, I have no air con and the laptop is radiating a lot of heat in my room.

  • Friday morning, Australia was informed by VIC POL that they had foiled a terrorist plot that was planned for Christmas Day at certain Melbourne Landmarks (Flinders Street Station, Federation Square and St. Paul’s Cathedral). In a joint taskforce, VIC POL, AFP and ASIO carried raids throughout North-West Suburbs of Melbourne, late Thursday night all through to early hours of Friday. Seven have been arrested,  with five expected to be charged with preparing a terror act.
  • The Berlin Christmas Market attack suspect was spotted in Milan, Italy apprehended and shot on scene. One of the officers was shot in the shoulder..
  • A Libyan plane was hijacked, carrying 111 passengers , the plane diverted to Malta. Hostages departed the plane safely after 4 hours of standoff, hijacker were arrested.
  • Donald Trump tweets about subject such as UN, Israel and the need for the US to increase nuclear arms arsenal and concerns the world… again

What a  shitty week eh?

Kudos to the authorities being on top of their game and foiling such a big plot planned against Melbourne like that.  Especially, where the three landmarks are so close in proximity, tourist hub area (they’re literally just opposite or adjacent to each other) and Flinders Street Station is the busiest station on the City Loop.  It would have been chaos. I could have lost any relatives or friends who celebrate Christmas in the CBD, it’s so close to home.

Other than that, had it flew under intelligence radar, the terrorist attack had  come to fruition, aside from Melburnians being sad at the casualties and destruction of landmarks, it wouldn’t be good for public transport commuters, they’d be fucking angry, and I say that because most railway lines in Melbourne are under construction to remove boomgates, constructing skyrail or making the tracks underground. No one here in Melbourne likes buses and causing delay on the railway network, it pisses us off (even when we agree to the Railway Project). So, thank you Operation Kastelholm for preventing this planned attack because it saved lives and prevented added public transport delays.

I’ve only commented about Melbourne because it’s my home.

I  feel like I should be on a week long social media freeze because the news reports clutter my feed and whenever I read or listen to a news report it feels like the world is going to end real soon.

Yeah, I’m keeping it brief.

Until next time.

A Serious Post: I woke up to this news.

The events that have happened early yesterday morning (AEST)

  • Russian Ambassador to Turkey, Andrei Karlov is assassinated at an art galllery in Ankara. The lone gunman- Mevlut Mert Altintas, 22 years old, identified as an off duty member of the Police (Riot Guard Unit) committed the act in front of bystanders and camera.  Shouting “Allahu Akbar’, ‘Don’t forget Aleppo! Don’t forget Syria’ . It has not been officially confirmed whether he has links to  any  extreme terrorist organisation or whether he was acting alone.
  • West Berlin, Germany: a Polish delivery truck carrying massive quantities of steel, rammed through a Christmas Market injuring approx 50 people and reportedly killed 12 people.
  • A mosque was attacked in Zurich, Switzerland, where three were injured.
  • The Electoral College has voted Donald Trump as next president.

My thoughts?

This whole entire year is depressing and the  shit really hit the fan when Donald J. Trump became PEOTUS and it was made official when the Electoral College in favour of him.

When I thought it couldn’t get more worse, it did. Aside from Trumps questionable cabinet picks, twitter rants, the nepotism and growing lists of conflict of interest regarding Trump business empire , the neverending conflict in Syria has been headlining everyday as the situation is worsening every minute. The horrifying images and footage of children reacting beyond their years, not being able to be kids depresses me a great deal it made me cry.

This Channel 4  video gives us a glimpse of the dire situation in Aleppo, it shows a woman crying for her children, she only had one with her and that poor little toddler sat down on the hospital bed , stunned like 5 year old Omran Daqneesh in the ambulance. A son of one of her neighbours was carrying his infant sibling , but his one month old brother had suffocated and died from the building collapse, he didn’t want to let go of his brothers body as he took time to process his loss. He had lost everyone from the building blast. What is sad but moving part of this video is that this teenage neighbour did everything to  try comfort his neighbour when he lost his entire family.

Remember these are only two people in Syria, there are many out there in Aleppo suffering the same hopeless fate.

As for the events that unfolded today. What happened in Ankara was very unfortunate. However, despite the reaction on social media, at the time of it being ‘breaking news’ it seemed like a political a response to what is happening in Aleppo.

A friend of mine on twitter had expressed his unease about what happened, as it made him think about a time in history where an assassination had become a catalyst for global war, ” This has a Franz Ferdinand kind of feel…”.  I won’t deny that concern, my sentiments echoed his thoughts at the time. We’re living in uncertain times, where the threat of war is highly probable and that it should not take much for it to turn into a global war. Every word and action has extreme consequences and we’re almost headed for disaster.

I do not want to jump into conclusions about Altintas because of late there is too much speculation happening. We do not know for sure whether or not this 22 year old man is linked to any extremist organisation. We don’t know all the facts, except that he is obviously against Russia’s involvement in Syria.

As for what happened Berlin, all I can do is pray for the dead and the injured. It has been reported that the suspect is an Asylum Seeker from Pakistan (who according to the Sydney Morning Herald has denied involvement).  I commend the Germany authorities for handling the situation with a lot of caution and care. As Germany’s Minister  of Interior Thomas de Maizere stated earlier in the day:

I don’t want to use the word ‘attack’ yet at the moment, although a lot speaks for it.

There is a psychological effect in the whole country of the choice of words here, and we want to be very, very cautious and operate close to the actual investigation results, not with speculation.

Here is a responsible person in a position of power being careful with his words. He’s reminding the people that we need all the facts instead of jumping to conclusions and getting angry and he is right, lately all we do is speculate and demonize a group of people who were not responsible for the actions of the offender but happen to be Muslim! Those who commit those acts should be condemned for their own actions.

As for what happened in Switzerland, which hasn’t been headlining as much, someone attacked a mosque and left  3 with serious injuries,there isn’t much coverage on this event in Switzerland as the casualty or injury rate isn’t high.

I just want to end this babbling post with how I feel after almost two months of bad news. For the first time, I am genuinely frightened. September 11th happened and that caused concern for American people back in 2001. I couldn’t fully understand what was happening because I was a blissfully ignorant child at the time.  But now as an adult, I understand the gravity of the situation of the state of global affairs. I see an America that is very divided.  The polarization happening in my own country and rhetoric by politicians of both sides is alarming.  Speaking as a minority in Australia, the rise of Pauline Hanson and the growing support she has disturbs me to the highest degree, especially when Dick Smith publicly announces he backs her.

We are living in dangerous times and I feel hopeless because I don’t know how to help and where to start.



It’s been a long week, and it hasn’t been good.

This is a lengthy post but thanks for taking the time to read it ( if anyone bothers to read it).

It has taken me four days to reflect on what has happened this week, I don’t know if I’m going to articulate my thoughts well in this post but with a week filled with  mixed emotions of “taking the high ground”, denial, sadness, anger etc… it is, it was an rollercoaster week for a lot of people around the world, particularly in the United States of America.

Just take note that I’m not American, I am not an expert on politics but that isn’t to say that I’m unaware, ignorant or uneducated about what is happening.

The world changed overnight when Donald J Trump became President-Elect in the early hours of November 9th.  I watched the news since 10:30 am, November 9 AEDT until it was reported Hilary Rodham Clinton conceded roughly around 7:00pm AEDT .

I was called last minute to babysit my nephew. I arrived around 10:10 am, and my brother in law took off to run some errands and  sort out some business.  For the entire day, I was watching the election coverage on tv and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and hearing. I know a lot of people post election have told us, you shouldn’t be shocked or stunned, but this was one of those moments where is was so surreal (nightmare or dream, depending on which “side” your on). My brother came home 9 hours later, who hadn’t been updated until I told him “Dude, he’s leading and the Dow plunged 800 points on the Stock Exchange”, my brother-in-law, who isn’t even into politics,  his lighthearted expression changed to a serious look, he didn’t believe me, and then he hopped on the couch beside me, watched the remainder of the election with me , curious, concerned and just thinking ‘what the heck is wrong with you people?’.

Throughout that day, I channel surfed as the results came in, every Australian channel covering the US Election –were for lack of a better word, dumbfounded.  I also switched between  CNN International , The Bloomberg Network and The BBC and again, they were either perplexed or dumbfounded.

When it was reported that Clinton conceded, it became official. I turned off the television in bitterness and all of a sudden the world looked bleak and I wanted to cry.

I had dinner with my sisters family, we were discussing what we just witnessed and we just felt miserable. I then drove home just feeling uncertain for the future.

I was feeling so annoyed, I was so sad, I was so very angry at and for the American people. So, the first thing  I did as I arrived home  was what every other of my generation do— post a facebook status.  I hopped on my laptop,  and it wasn’t a surprise that my facebook newsfeed was full of similar sentiments of disbelief and worry.

I posted a lengthy status expressing my current thoughts at that time of that night, basically a post about my disappointment at the result and sympathy for the American people but reached the conclusion that  “we have to move on, it is what it is, that is what they wanted”.

I was wrong.

I woke up the next day, feeling angry, feeling sad and frustrated. I was in denial that night before. As the post election results came trickling in and data of voter turn out, the popular vote and electoral votes was published. I just got even more angry and more confused as ever (It took me watching multiple videos to explain the Electoral College, I wasn’t sure if I was understanding the process clearly, but I concluded that it was a shitty way to elect a President and I’m not going to even go posting how stupid it is).

As usual, I message my friends randomly, at weird times during the day to check up on them and just vent my frustration and anger.

My best friend replied:

‘I sat next to an older white man this morning and I was like uncertain. LOL. And I shouldn’t be. I never usually think like that. It’s just this whole thing. Anyone COULD potentially be a Trump.’

And it was a scary thought to us, that any white person, whether neighbour, workmate or train commuter was a closet racist, bigot or a xenophobe.

As each day passed, that anger , that sadness and frustration wouldn’t die.  I felt so hopeless and helpless.

Again, I am Australian, why was it effecting me?

To reiterate and emphasize again, this US Presidential Election changed the world. It wouldn’t have changed the world had Donald Trump not made damaging statements about refugees, LGBTIQ community, minorities, trade deals and military alliances etc during his campaign. His unpredictability, temperament and undetailed policy pledges made the the world question their alliance with the USA. I was concerned and thinking about the ANZUS treaty , the South China Sea issue and our alliance with China ( a country that Donald Trump scathingly attacked in his campaign at one point). Other than that, he was a representative of  racist behaviour, bigoted views and misogyny. I understand people had voted for him for various reasons, but he represented those that hold those views. What I cannot fathom is why the bloc of people, who claimed to be neither racist, xenophobic, anti-gay or misogynists, chose to ignore that. He polarised the nation and normalised discrimination and abusive behaviour (as evidenced throughout social media, through public protest and minorities giving detailed accounts of being harassed by Trump supporters or vice versa).

And what is sad is that it’s slowly becoming that way in my own country.This year,  One Nation Party (ver. II ) came back and the people of Queensland voted Pauline Hanson in the Senate (What is worse that it’s harder now to neutralise  what they represent than it was back in 1997 when I was 7 years old).  Donald Trump being elected into office made all the nastiness of what he represented almost normal. He is going to be officially the leader of the Free World come next January, the Commander-in-Chief of a world Superpower and it made it official that Western Democracy was/is spiralling into madness.

This election affected my country, and other countries, it’s going to be one of those moments like the man walking on the moon, but this one wouldn’t be the nostalgic kind, it would be a bitter memory forever etched in my mind and especially a negative moment in human history.

I have more to say but I am tired and fear that it would be repetitive.

For all those Americans feeling downcast with what has happened, keep your heads high, keep fighting for equality and respect in this world. My thoughts are with you and I am motivated to prevent what has happened in the United States of America, from it happening here in my own country.


Until next time.