Must be the Moon

This is odd (even?) Second post of the month and new year. This is a new record. Realistically speaking, it’s not going to be like this everyday. I just came home early from work and actually had a lot of time to spare. I watched a bit of Season 2 of Cable Girls but stopped half way an episode because I am not in the mood to watch anything and decided to blog.

I am feeling quite content so far. I don’t know how to fully describe it but I am feeling upbeat or receiving good vibes. It’s an odd feeling because I rarely feel like this. I think it MUST BE THE MOON.

I scored 100% for my first Quality Assurance for the of the month (and year) and what’s hilarious is that I used a stock standard template and tweaked it a bit. I shouldn’t complain. I’ll take the score. It’s just hilarious because I’ve failed before using the same template. ‘Que Sera Sera, Whatever will be will be’

I came into work today and they were pretty flexible with keeping me on even if I am/was sick (many people were away you see). In the past, people were sent home if they could not use their voice. My voice was that bad, but they were lenient and switched me to emails for the entire day and I am thankful for that. My voice, I believe has recovered back to 85%  to normal and I can resume to take calls tomorrow.

Whilst my throat is on recovery, I drank a lot of water to ease the dryness/soreness and it was that bad today, I ended up drinking almost two litres of water. A lot of pee breaks I must say, but there are the positives.  I can say my lips are to the point of becoming smooth like a baby. I need to get back to the habit of drinking water regularly. After one day, my skin has also improved. My aim is to reduce my Coca Cola and soft drink consumption. The only caffeine I can indulge in is coffee and tea.

I normally prefer to take the later shifts, but because the kiddies are on summer holidays, public transport is bearable (even though majority of the time will be replacement buses). I find it easier to wake up earlier in the morning and getting to work on time. I do find a difference and understand why my workmates prefer the earlier shift. I got home and ended having spare time and just spent it eating dinner, watching half an episode of Cable Girls and taking a nap.

There is nothing more I can type about apart from remembering I didn’t prepare any lunch for tomorrow.

Note to self: Prepare lunch for work every night. Avoid buying lunch.

That’s it for today. Until next time.


New Year.

I was hoping that the New Year would miraculously cure my summer cold overnight and of course, that didn’t happen.

I planned for the New Month– to focus on my stats at work so I could score extra money, but I am likely going to have to call in work sick which will ruin my attendance share of the monthly incentive.

It’s a ridiculous kind of situation to be in, when you had a plan to improve KPI’s and something goes wrong. I just can’t take it seriously, me being sick all of sudden has fucked up my month and all I can do is … laugh. A year ago, I would have been freaking out. Now, I just take it as it is. I’ll rock up to work and see whether I get sent home.

So, New Year’s Resolutions? I don’t like to admit that I do have a list but I only really ever ticked 1 out of the many (last years’ reso) I have listed as ‘done’

Of course, there is nothing wrong with setting goals for the year. Some people have a strong will in achieving them. I am not one of those people.

These were the few last year (below):

  • Minimalism. I failed miserably
  • Exercising. I lasted a week
  • Quitting Bubbletea. Yeah, right, I’m a caffeine addict and I had a cup yesterday night. It was delicious.

The exception, every new year I want to become a better version of myself. I saw little change, but still, it was quite significant. I am more “assertive”. I think this is due to having a job and the requirement is  to speak to other human beings (the exception, the guy I have a massive crush on/still cannot talk to him– I feel like I’m back in highschool).

I guess, for 2018 my aim is my Finances. This is tied to many things because I have a mortgage, I plan to improve my mental and physical health and I am going on a trip to Hawaii mid-year. I need moola. So, I need to set aside some money per month.

Love life? I don’t have one to begin with but the universe seems to want me to confront it. Whether it’s my female workmates just constantly talking about it and asking why I am single (?), my aunt and mum trying to set me up with some guy, my sister making snide remarks about non-existent dating life and then I keep seeing the same male name pop up everywhere. It’s driving me nuts, it’s to the point I can’t sweep those things under a mental rug because it’s pretty much 5 years of it.

Take life with a dash of humour. I felt that I was a little too serious last year and I need to relax. This means I need to make more an effort in socialising even if it drains my battery ( That actually conflicts with the finances but I will try make work).

I will have to start focusing on doing a month by month excel spreadsheet budget (which I should have been doing for a long time).

Instead of checking boxes…I will rate my performance. I will somehow formulate a rating metre.

Until next time.







The last day of 2017

I don’t want to make this an essay but it might end up as an essay (a very badly structured essay— or rather reflective piece).

Normally, a Netflix movie would be on in the background and I’d be having a glass of wine whilst typing this. Actually, I planned to stay at a friends house, eating cheese and drinking many glasses of wine but we’re both sick due to the fucking temperamental weather.

It’s not going to be a great 2018 because obviously, I’m sick (Summer flu).  This sickness that came about on the  28 Thursday December 2017 will roll over to the new year. I have a stuffy nose, my throat feels like fucking sandpaper… and HAHAHA, for a person who is employed to answer phone calls, I’ve lost my voice temporarily! I have to be back at work on Tuesday and I can’t afford to miss work!

I will be honest, I didn’t keep track of my year because apart from staying in a job for an entire year (that’s a milestone for my personal record). It was a blur. Also, this blog turned out to be something I didn’t intend it to be, and now it’s just my personal bitch about life online diary. ( Note to self: I have to update the intention of this blog).

So, the start of 2018 will consist of myself nursing my throat and it is not looking good!

What happened this year (2017) for me?

All I remember  (below, not in event order):

  • James Comey hearing
  • James Comey trying to camouflage himself with the Blue White House curtains.
  • Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull’s leaked telephone transcript with Donald Trump
  • My bestfriend gave birth to an adorable daughter with fabulous hair.
  • Sean Spicer Resignation
  • Anthony Scaramucci getting fired.
  • Updates and policies at work, changing every 2 weeks, now it’s every one week and a half.

The realisations and changes that happened to me (profoundly altered me personally)

  • The job has made me dead inside
  • I am more blunt
  • I now hold a grudge with a passion, I am less tolerant and impatient. Fundamentally, I have never been confrontational and straight with my wrath and vengeance. My wrath and vengeance is silent… I do that behind the scenes.
  • Me being interested in somebody for the first time since 2013
  • Me being chicken and not being able to say a simple ‘hello’ to that certain guy (I need to work on that)
  • I really want to (f!@#k) that guy
  • I made some new friends
  • I realised I need to see a shrink asap

That was pretty much it

However, I have a month and a half to improve the start of the year. Not to worry much ! Friday 16th February 2018 is my do-over New Year because it’s Lunar New Year, which I take a touch more seriously.

Any resolutions? LOL. Yeah. I need to make a vision board. That’s all.

I will take on 2018 humbly!


How do I muster the courage to talk…

To him is painful.

Words don’t come out. I can’t look him in the eye. I want to talk to him but I am pretty much Ariel the mermaid in this situation. I lose my voice.

I think he thinks I hate him. I don’t. I just don’t know how to initiate a conversation.

I am at a loss for words.

The universe was sending in some signs. Today, I think the universe was pushing him to me. I can’t read him, but I get this vibe that he too wants to figure what the hell is wrong with me.

We catch public transport to and from work.

He normally waits on the other end of the platform catching the the train outbound from the city,

I take the train travelling inbound to the city. I normally wait for my train near the platform kiosk, or behind the kiosk. He normally waits on the opposite end to where I usually wait.

This time he was at his usual side of the platform waiting for his train, but on the end of the platform that I wait for my train. I find it unusual as he never heads to that end.

When he arrived to the platform, he walked straight to the kiosk, I took a glance back and I saw he wasn’t headed to his usual direction, it’s like he was heading towards me but chickened out.

Maybe I am overthinking it. Yesterday, I chickened out because we exited our work area at the same time and … I passed him and ran for the stairs….

I have opportunities and I am wasting them. I don’t how to overcome my insecurities.



Signs? My head? Am I going crazy?

Whoever reads this blog is well aware that I have been infatuated or crushing this guy at work and it’s really hard for me to move on.

I keep seeing his name pop up a few times EVERYDAY. It’s become quite frequent for the past few months.

I do expect to answer calls and emails in response of what he has logged in our complaints database. . Lately, I’ve been responding to email replies from end users responding to his emails and that never really used to happen. When I take calls, I open complaints and he is the last person who handled that complaint.

My head believes I am overthinking it but now I don’t know. I’m confused.

My bestfriend thinks it’s the universe telling me something. I don’t know what to believe because … it’s just odd. His name is probably common, but it isn’t common in my life.

At the start of the year, I had a crush on another workmate and I never ever had his name popping up everywhere. I really liked the guy, wasn’t even shy to talk to him.  Eventually he left the job, we’re facebook friends but I’m over him.

This also did not happen to me 5 years ago, when I actually dated the guy. I had an intense crush on him too and I gave it ago. It didn’t work out and I was emotionally wounded but now I let that go and we’re facebook friends again and he’s happily in a relationship. Though, whilst crushing him. I NEVER SAW HIS NAME POP UP ANYWHERE.

But this guy, no matter how hard I try to ignore him or do anything to move on I KEEP SEEING HIS NAME EVERYWHERE.

What is it? I honestly need an explanation. Why do I keep seeing or hearing his name?









Plans. Social Events. A time for deeper reflection. Scattered thougts.

It’s just the start of the end of the year and I have had an odd year.

As much as I despise the job I am in at the moment, I feel that the nature of the job has toughened my skin and I don’t take much crap from people anymore. I will speak my mind if I find it necessary to.

I really do need to start budgeting properly.

I need to work on my mental health and work on my perspective.

I think I will let love and relationships a chance next year.

I wanted to write out something more reflective but I will

…continue on sometime

…progressively within this month

… sometime this month


Oh, there is a severe weather warning for the State of Victoria.

As per Hitchhiker’s Guide advises ‘DON’T PANIC!’ Stay safe fellow Victorians!



Can you believe it’s almost the end of the year?

Somehow I am still feeling the same as last November. The politics have not improved in Australia and Donald Trump is still in President of the United States. I don’t even know where to begin with the sorry state of affairs of Politics to even discuss it, maybe I don’t have the full understanding of what is happening around the world and it was my goal to educate myself but knowing me, I don’t have the enthusiasm as I did at the beginning of the year. I finally got a job (that I really hate) that all I want to do as soon as I enter the house door, is eat chicken and watch netflix.

My life situation hasn’t improved even though  I have steady income flowing in (not great by the way but still a wage), other things keep propping up and I’m the type of person who is irrational and takes repetitions of words that it’s a message from the universe telling me things.

Or maybe my good friend/colleague has unleashed something from my subconscious that I have locked up for so long and it’s just made me more depressed because I admit I’m not single by choice and I never really thought much about until she kept talking about her love life and asking why I never thought about it.

So, now I’m stuck on being sad about something I considered unimportant for many years and it’s getting to me. Maybe, it’s due to my age and I feel like I am wasting time in every aspect of my life.

I am slowly trying to dress more ‘age’ appropriate, I feel like the fashion of today is too “young” for me and I need to start dressing more smart casual often and need to stop buying sneakers. I am not being taken seriously as an adult and I feel it’s because of the way I dress.

So, for the last few months I’ve been in “deep thought” about my personal life and how to “better” or “improve” myself physically. As much as I hate to admit this, but to a degree “looks do matter” and at the moment I am looking quite ugly and I feel ugly.