Dark Period of this year

Things have not gone well so far folks.

Summer has ended and has entered Autumn (by the way, my favourite season of the year) but my life has taken a sudden dark turn. I can’t disclose too much information but I feel like I have betrayed a friend at work. Can’t disclose any details,…. but I feel like I might be (below).


I will just have to wait and see this coming week.

Other than that, in my pursuit of love (or lack of), my mind decided ‘no’ (my heart said ‘yes’). Word has it the guy that I have been crushing for a year is taken. It definitely defined the boundary (confirmation that he is indeed untouchable). Part of me is relieved, part of me is actually very sad. I’ve been crushing a not-single guy for an entire year. I feel like a fool because how dare I be attracted to a guy that is about to get married?


It’s a punch in the face.

Worst still, his name is still popping up everywhere. I don’t know what that is about.


I haven’t had a good week and I feel like it’s going to get worse.

Until next time.



Note: July 21.

As I lie here in my bed typing whatever comes to mind, it’s the wee hours of the morning and I have a shift later in normal people hours and I want to sleep but I can’t. “It’s the damn coffees I had”. Funny, that the coffee kicks in after your shift ends and it’s a never ending cycle and I wake up late, speed walking like a mas woman aiming to get to the station within 7 minutes (when for a normal person it takes 10 to 15 minutes) and 85% of the time hop on the train before it’s scheduled departure. The truth as to why I am a fast walker is because I’m constantly always in a rush because I’m naturally a last minute person. My punctuality flew out of the window after highschool.

It’s seven months in and I am still at the job that I don’t even really like but who likes their job? It makes ends meet and I really should not complain. The reason why I am still at the job is because my workmates keep me sane. The nature of the job sucks that it’s blackened my soul, I now lack the words to sound more “empathetic”. Empathy is one of my most hated words.

It’s winter, whilst I like the cold weather because I like to rug up, the negative side to it is my mood is altered and I probably have seasonal affective disorder.

I need to read books but lack the motivation to stare at words and become invested in a story.

My plans for living frugally went out the door, but I need to review my yearly plans. SAVE SAVE SAVE. For my dental and also I do plan a trip to the US of A next year. I initially wanted to go with a friend but seeing that we’re not going eye to eye with some plans, I think I might go it alone or find someone to go with me.

Just ran out of words to include.

Until next time…

My reflections on the past few days

These past couple of days have been intense.

Last Friday, a horrible thing happened in my beloved city of Melbourne, I posted briefly about it a few days ago and now I feel ready to give my full thoughts on this.

A sick man, who was suffering a drug-induced psychosis decided to recklessly endanger the people of Melbourne because he was angry that he was being followed by the police.

In the earlier hours of Friday morning, it started when he was refused entry into a bar in St Kilda, he also stole his neighbours car after beating him up, he stabbed his younger brother and threatened the life of his mother and his pregnant girlfriend. He took his pregnant girlfriend hostage, who was trapped in the car for almost four hours until police surrounded them, she quickly ran for her life at the Bolte Bridge, then the city thing happened.  You can read the timeline The Age published.

Things like this never occur in my city. It sent shockwaves, people paused as news travelled throughout the State of Victoria and I guess, the nation. It was bizarre because  it occured in broad daylight,  in front of thousands of people during the lunch peak and in the heart of the city. He did burnouts  stopped people in their tracks and attention, it was him against the world. Ranting and raving. Scaring the beejezus out of everyone and then he went on his rampage.

I had loved ones working in the city that day and two of them both work near or on Bourke St. My niece and nephew could have lost a mother had my sister decided/gone to eat out that day, she did not. My brother-in-law could have lost his mother, but fortunately she was not on break. Those two children, the 10 year old girl and that infant boy could have easily been my niece and nephew.

A vigil was held  earlier in the evening at 5:30 at Federation Square. I just made it in time to listen to the speeches until its end. It was a hot sweltering day and I withstood the heat because I wanted to pay my respects for the injured and the dead. Just because I wasn’t there on the day, it happened so close to home, I felt the need to visit the sites.

After the vigil, I quickly made my way to GPO, to pay my respects there and was instantly moved by the silent, sombre crowd. I too, had decided to buy flowers and placed a origami crane amongst the flowers. This was the first time I’ve done this because it was necessary. With everything else going on in the world, from the passionate Women’s March against Trump happening all over the globe on the weekend, the depressing realisation that Trump is officially the President of the United States . I finally felt the need to do something.  I am sad, worried and weary for the world and I am deeply sad for what has happened in Melbourne.

Henry Dow, a Law student, who was on scene when it happened instinctively aided the injured with the help of taxi driver, Lou.

Their was no evil on Bourke street yesterday; one sick young man did a terrible thing, and hundreds responded with the love and sense of community that makes Melbourne such a beautiful city, and Victoria such a great State.

And that is true, we expressed our dismay, anger and disappointment but our thoughts were with the victims and they needed our love and support (Please read this moving Facebook Status of his)

As our Lord Mayor Robert Doyle said:

Melbourne is our home. When it happens to one of us, it happens to all of us

It hurt us profoundly.

Please let it be known that this man who committed these acts was in a drug-induced psychosis. This was not a planned terror attack in the name of religion and don’t use this as an excuse to attack a certain religion. This was a spur of the moment reckless decision of a person who  was high on crystal meth, trying to escape from VICPOL. Please don’t think I am dismissing his actions, I am not. What he did was horrible and he IS clearly a danger to society. When the time comes and he feels genuine remorse and realises the errors of his ways, that is a great burden and punishment already, he has alienated himself from friends and family, he will be forever known as the guy that killed 5 people, 2 of which were children and injured over 25 people. If he does not feel remorse, he deserves to be incarcerated until he dies, my sympathy is limited there.

I hope that the State of Victoria review and amend the laws regarding crime and punishment and fund mental health services because this could have easily been prevented.

My thoughts and prayers go to the deceased and injured victims and their families.

Rest in Peace:

Baby Zachary

Thalia Hakin

Matthew Si

Jess Mudie

Unnamed Japanese Man


Until next time.



Daily Prompt: Moody

via Daily Prompt: Moody

The Oxford Dictionary defines ‘Moody’:

(of a person) given to unpredictable changes of mood, especially sudden bouts of gloominess or sullenness

That’s me right there every morning.

Dark clouds looming over my head;

Raining or lightning bolts coming out of that imaginary grey puff,



Road rage,


Hate for the person next to you so perky  and perfect,

“Gee, why is she so happy? I want to punch her in the face”

You are desperate to find the glimmer of sunshine,

That is a cup of coffee.