Dear Chester Bennington, Rest In Peace.

The daily ritual kicked off as soon as the alarm went off, I turned on the wifi on my phone and checked the notifications.

One of my friends had a facebook status expressing their devastation of Chester Bennington  reported dead. The first time I saw it, I thought it was a hoax but when it got to three statuses of similar sentiment —It hit me.

It wasn’t a hoax …it was real.  I am sad, very sad about this.  His depression was well known, he had spoken about it t his troubled childhood and his depression in highschool. He as depressed and tt finally got to him, this time he couldn’t fight it this time.

I listened to Linkin Park in the early years of Highschool . My  middle child sister was a massive fan. It rubbed off on me and through the influence of older siblings, you tend to form habits. Linkin Park was the shiz then, because the songs spoke to us.

Chester’s voice, got me through highschool.The way he sung lyrics of the songs moved me, you could hear his pain and that feeling in his vocals got me through the worse times in those years of my life.

He was my first rock celebrity crush, his geekiness and WOW that voice .

The world lost a precious soul with a precious voice.

I’m incredibly saddened by this. This is all I can say… that I’m incredibly sad about this.

I’m all choked up that I can’t even string coherent sentences and spell properly.

 

 

 

Note: July 21.

As I lie here in my bed typing whatever comes to mind, it’s the wee hours of the morning and I have a shift later in normal people hours and I want to sleep but I can’t. “It’s the damn coffees I had”. Funny, that the coffee kicks in after your shift ends and it’s a never ending cycle and I wake up late, speed walking like a mas woman aiming to get to the station within 7 minutes (when for a normal person it takes 10 to 15 minutes) and 85% of the time hop on the train before it’s scheduled departure. The truth as to why I am a fast walker is because I’m constantly always in a rush because I’m naturally a last minute person. My punctuality flew out of the window after highschool.

It’s seven months in and I am still at the job that I don’t even really like but who likes their job? It makes ends meet and I really should not complain. The reason why I am still at the job is because my workmates keep me sane. The nature of the job sucks that it’s blackened my soul, I now lack the words to sound more “empathetic”. Empathy is one of my most hated words.

It’s winter, whilst I like the cold weather because I like to rug up, the negative side to it is my mood is altered and I probably have seasonal affective disorder.

I need to read books but lack the motivation to stare at words and become invested in a story.

My plans for living frugally went out the door, but I need to review my yearly plans. SAVE SAVE SAVE. For my dental and also I do plan a trip to the US of A next year. I initially wanted to go with a friend but seeing that we’re not going eye to eye with some plans, I think I might go it alone or find someone to go with me.

Just ran out of words to include.

Until next time…

Everyone has a story. My one is a mundane one. But I will record. (When I can be bothered. Sorry for the long title)

What my week consisted of;

Whine.

Wine.

Cheese and watercress crackers.

wine.

kabana bites.

decaf coffee.

actual caffeinated coffee.

abuse from people on the other line, calling me every bad word out of urban dictionary.

The alcohol abuse happened after work… every night.

James Comey updates about him trying to blend with the blue White House curtains.

Another week of work begins and I’m looking forward to Tuesday and Wednesday because I HAVE TWO DAYS OFF and I’m going to go to the Van Gogh exhibition on Tuesday! (YAY)

 

 

Life Complaint. May edition.

I will admit while I have a job that I do not particularly enjoy, a job is a job is a job is a job. It’s something that pays the bills and buys the necessities in life.

I often find myself bored. I’m not productive. I can go clean the house, but I do not because I’m not in the mood or I’m simply just lazy. Buying material goods does not make me happy. I’ve found no joy in any new clothing I buy or whatever and I don’t know what I want anymore. Material possessions do not fascinate me. I think often, the more I buy the less space I have, the more junk I accumulate and then there is more rubbish that clutter and pollutes the world.   I often find myself thinking, reflecting, why I am not in the mood to watch netflix, normal television, watch or participate in sport. I feel no passion. I feel bored. I can’t even be bothered reading.

What is wrong with me?

 

 

Thoughts on the “remake/reboot” of ‘Journey to the West’ or rather ‘Monkey’

Normally, I don’t get into the whole whitewashing conversation of POC characters in western films because some asian films can be remade and adapted to a western audience.  Also, most of the time I am wary about getting into rage-based identity politics but…

When I heard that ABC, TVNZ and Netflix were collaborating and doing a “remake” (I would call a tribute) of the 1970’s Japanese adaptation of the show ‘Monkey’, I was quite frankly, outraged.

Being Australian of the Asian variety, whilst I’m not fully chinese myself, I did grow up watching the multiple Chinese, Taiwanese and HK adaptations in Vietnamese dub.

Australian kids of East/South East Asian background are raised watching or at least knowing the story of ‘Journey to the West’. A chinese buddhist monk goes on a pilgrimage with his three disciples to collect the sacred scriptures from India.

When I saw the photo and the description of the ABC/TVNZ/Netflix adaptation, I didn’t see anything connecting to China. This story has some historical background. Xuansang is a real life 16th Century Monk who did go to India and collect scripture. Xuansang recorded his 17 year journey to India, which nine centuries later inspired Wu Cheng’en to write the ‘Journey to the West’ novel with supernatural elements.

If you can’t understand why Asians in the West (USA, UK, Canada, Australia and New Zealand) are fucking angry over this, it’s because of the above, it has historical context.

I understand that this English Language ‘reboot’ series is not intended for an Eastern audience. In saying that, You would think the ABC and TVNZ take into account the outrage overseas with Scarlett Johansson and Emma Stone being cast for asian characters. Do they realise that there are Asian communities across Australia and New Zealand? Also, Asians are under-represented on local television and movies. I find it difficult to swallow what they have fed us. When it was announced that they were adapting this story, as soon as I saw the pictures of the cast,  I was disappointed and pissed off.

I still can’t get over it.

So, I went to the doctor’s and the doctor said

‘You had an anxiety attack.’

This was Thursday afternoon.

I had to cut work early because I felt really crap. I felt disorientated, couldn’t concentrate, massive headache, couldn’t stomach things down and thought I had caught something

Turns out, it was an anxiety/stress attack.

It started from Monday and worsened until Thursday and smack bang, I thought I had gastro.

I think I need a new job.